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Brexit:
There was a fake traffic jam to test how ports will cope with a no
deal and people are baffled
7
January, 2019
It's
now 2019 and the reality of Brexit and a potential no deal is just on
the horizon and, to be honest, we aren't too optimistic about the
future.
'Why?'
we hear you ask. Well, just take a look at what has been going on on
an unused airport near Ramsgate in Kent.
At
around 8am, 89 lorries and HGV's assembled at Manston Airport (there
was supposed to be 150) to take part in two test runs to see how the
country's ports will deal with post-Brexit traffic.
The
lorries collectively drove 20 miles down the A256 to the Port of
Dover where they were directed to the Eastern Docks roundabout,
waited for a bit, did a loop and then drove back to the airport.
There
is a feat that a no-deal will create additional border checks at
ports, which could result in hue 29-mile tailbacks.
The
trial, which has been named Operation Brock, was a way of seeing how
the roads would cope with such problems and increased traffic.
However,
it has already drawn derision from Dover's Tory MP, Charlie
Elphicke.
We've got to remember 10,000 lorries visit the Channel ports every single day so a test with less than 100 is not even a drop in the ocean.
Sending lorries around Kent on a wild goose chase all the way to Manston in the extreme north-east corner, and then sending them to the Port of Dover by a small A road, is not the right answer.
Over on Twitter, people were absolutely baffled at the sight of lorries taking part in a fake traffic jam. As you can guess, there were lots of Brexit jokes.
Current normal activities of a country that hasn’t lost its mind:
Practicing rotting bananas on the A246 to see if we’ll have food in April.
276 people are talking about this
Using 87 lorries to try and see what 5000+ will do is so perfectly on-brand Brexit. It's like preparing for a famine by skipping lunch.
990 people are talking about this
About to embark on the long journey to Australia from a country where 79 lorries are testing a traffic jam as part of a no-deal Brexit rehearsal. I may not come back...
See Stuart Fraser's other Tweets
And they're off!
83 Lorries leave Manston Airport to see whether local roads can handle 5000 lorries in a #NoDealBrexit
261 people are talking about this
There is no better representation of the sheer absurdity of Brexit than this. 150 lorries driving round a disused airport practising the popular British pastime of queuing, in preparation for an entirely self-inflicted national catastrophe. bbc.co.uk/news/uk-englan…
2,817 people are talking about this
Monday morning in the UK, 2019 - The government roleplaying a No Deal Brexit with a bunch of lorries and irritated journalists, and Piers Morgan retching into a bin after eating a vegan sausage roll on live TV. The year is already a write off.
79 people are talking about this
This thread from The Independent's political sketch writer, Tom Peck, really encapsulates how farcical the whole thing was.
Right. First day back after Christmas in this perfectly normal country and I'm off to Ramsgate to sketch a Potemkin traffic jam up the A299 at dawn.
2,432 people are talking about this
This really is where a hundred lorries are gathering voluntarily to stage a fake traffic jam all the way to Dover to show the EU we are ready for no deal.
619 people are talking about this
In ten years at the Indy, I've been taught literally how to ride a bike by an Olympic cycling coach. I've entered my dog in Crufts. I've trained as a Wimbledon ball boy. I've never been on an assignment anywhere near as stupid as this.
1,050 people are talking about this
Dawn breaks on the Kent horizon and there, in a disused airfield, is a totally artificial snarl up, ready to crawl all the way to Dover for absolutely no reason whatsoever.
348 people are talking about this
Needless to say, this is all the "brainchild", ie orphan, of Chris Grayling.
507 people are talking about this
As the fake traffic jam in the disused airfield swells, why not take a moment to consider Boris Johnson, writing in the telegraph this morning, who said "this is closest to what people actually voted for."
817 people are talking about this
What these trucks represent are whole decades of patiently honed genius, the sheer wonder of Europe wide just-in-time manufacturing supply chains, unquestionably one of mankind's greatest logistical achievements, being smashed to pieces for absolutely nothing.
1,867 people are talking about this
The clock strikes 8. The moment this demented pantomime was meant to set off for Dover, to stress test British greatness. It is still stationary.
278 people are talking about this
Analysis shows that just a ten minute delay for lorries at the port of Dover will decimate British manufacturing in every corner of the country. These lorries, which are here for no reason, and are not being checked for anything, are now ten minutes late in setting off.
1,027 people are talking about this
And if you're wondering how the great British public, and their "blitz spirit" will cope with all this, a woman in a Fiat 500 has just slowed down on her way past the lay by where I and other members of the media have gathered, to honk loudly and mouth at us to "fucking fuck off"
789 people are talking about this
And lo, what should appear uninvited by the TV cameras on the grassy knoll over the A299? "Hi, I'm Charlie Elphicke the MP for Dover. [Just had the whip restored despite serious allegations against me]. Thought I'd introduce myself."
369 people are talking about this
And now I am in the warm of Ramsgate Maccy D's, copying and pasting these tweets to form my Monday column. This must be what Seth Abramson's life is like. Thread ends.
110 people are talking about this
All in all, this little exercise, the brainchild of our esteemed transport secretary Chris Grayling, found that delays would only last 10 minutes, which is somewhat reassuring, but it's slightly worrying that it cost the government at least £48,950 to figure this out.
UPDATED: Government confirms it paid drivers £550 each to take part in today's Brexit lorry run.
That means the total exercise cost £48,950 in driver fees alone - excluding ALL other costsmirror.co.uk/news/politics/…
561 people are talking about this
Still, it's good to know that there won't be any shortage of portaloos on our nation's motorways post-Brexit.
The government say they’ll need to order hundreds of portaloos for motorways. Still waiting for the first picture today of a trucker practicing taking a shit.
107 people are talking about this
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