Leaked
email: CIA wants to end Russophobia campaign in favor of Iran war
(<<== Fake news!)
3
August, 2017
by Ramin
Mazaheri
(Note:
This leaked email has not yet been verified by WikiLeaks:)
Date:
2017-07-31
Source: Langley CIA HQ
Classification: SECRET/NOFORN/MLBNLCSWS
S E C R E T
SECTION 08 OF 1,843 WASHINGTON – AC0871108
SUBJECT: CIA Sub-Deputy says anti-Russia campaign detracting from war effort against Iran
CLASSIFICATION APPROVED BY: CLASSIFIED
REASON: 1.4 (a), (g)
Since
October 2016 CIA operatives have successfully stepped up operations
both around and within Iran.
I
can report that Stuxnet 2.0 has been implanted: Iran’s radar and
air traffic control will be essentially nullified once hostilities
begin.
Trusted
handlers have created an effective network to coordinate the
neutralization of their speedboat capabilities in the Gulf, meaning
our aircraft carriers will encounter little resistance.
CIA
operatives inside their rocket program have the self-destruct codes
to knock out their satellite capabilities. Iran’s technological
advancements in this area remain a commercial threat to Western
telecommunications dominance. Our prolonged delay of war prevents us
from ending this continued embarrassment.
But
maintaining public focus on Russia has indeed been the perfect cover
for ramping up our anti-Iran activities.
The
public has been lulled to sleep on Iran, and all they need is to be
shaken awake.
That
brings me to the point of this email:
Everything
is clearly in place to finally launch war against Iran, but we risk
missing this opportunity due to a refusal to let go of the
Russophobia campaign. Therefore, I must insist that we terminate that
campaign so that Iran can resume its rightful and historic place as
US public enemy number one.
I
fear that many at Langley have started to believe their own
Russophobic hype, but I remind everyone the anti-Putin campaign was
always supposed to be just a cover: We have never been able to swing
public opinion in favor of war against Iran, but we correctly
reasoned that war with Iran would look much more appealing after
months of threats of war with Russia.
However,
I wonder if the Russophobia campaign hasn’t metastasized beyond our
control?
Worrying
signs
I
first started to have questions when Langley bathroom graffiti
started to lampoon Putin instead of Khamenei. The very few limericks
I have recently seen against Khamenei have even misspelled his name.
It’s
sloppy, and it indicates a worrying lack of familiarity with what
should be our primary target: Iran.
I
became more alarmed after our latest weekly briefing with Rachel
Maddow. She insists on staying with Russia because they get her
better ratings: she says that Iranian women who hate their Revolution
but still wear hejabs are “not hot”.
Well
of course they aren’t! What does she think a hejab is for?
But
we have destroyed Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya and Syria – how can we
leave Iran out of our plans for totally leveling Muslim countries for
trying to be Muslim? That’s just plain un-American! Any job worth
doing is a job worth doing right!
Let’s
not break with years of planning just because the Russophobia
campaign has succeeded beyond anyone’s imagination.
Frankly,
we all know who to pin this screw-up on: Hillary.
Hillary
knew it had to be Iran and THEN Russia. Hell, it was her idea! And
that’s why she
legalized those terrorist psychos the MKO,
a group which has as much chance of being accepted as leader as
Benedict Arnold did after the American Revolution.
But
Trump’s victory threw everything off track. This email is to get
back to what we’ve done since 1979 – try to implode Iran, as that
idiot John Kerry once accidentally admitted in Paris.
(Reporter’s
Note: See below for details)
First
of all: It’s not the CIA’s fault Hillary blew the election – we
rigged as many vote machines as we could! It’s not our fault some
hillbilly counties put their money into K-12 education instead of
computerized voting machines.
Frankly,
I blame Huma Abedin, because Hillary’s closest aide needs to get
blamed for something, right? How can someone so close to power get
left off the hook for everything? Maybe if she spent less time with
Hillary, then maybe her husband Anthony Weiner wouldn’t be
over-revved and texting naked photos, knowwhutI’msayin? Hey FBI!
Don’t think Langley has forgotten that’s how you first started
searching Clinton’s mails!
I
don’t want to say I told you so, but we should have made Hillary’s
BFF a Russian instead of a Saudi: Muslims stick together.
And
that is why we are trying to break off Kurdistan immediately. But how
is that going to happen when 8 million Iranian Kurds show no sign of
revolt?!
Iran
has made us look bad much longer than Putin
Let’s
look at the scoreboard: Since 1979 Iran has been nothing but trouble,
but at least Gorby and Yeltsin gave us 15 years of high-quality
looting. I mean – y’all have some real short memories: I brought
up “Ted Koppel” to some younger operatives and they didn’t even
know who he was, and the guy was on TV nightly for years thanks
to the hostage crisis!
The effectiveness of his toupee ruined my shares in that hair implant
corporation!
Where’s
our payback been for the hostage crisis? A few murdered scientists?
One paltry downed
passenger airliner?
Decades of economic strangulation? Not nearly enough! And how can we
let Iran get away with Revolution? It’s been a terrible precedent!
Let’s
forget Hillary and restart at zero: Finally, we have a pro anti-Iran
president. Unlike Obama the Muslim. (I guess Indonesia is Shia? Is
that why he protected Iran?)
We
really lucked out with Trump: He only talked tough on Iran and Cuba
during the election campaign, so we caught a major break there. I
don’t know why Trump has such an aversion to Iran – could be
because he’s from New York City and the Empire State, could be
because he’s got major Zionists in his family by marriage, or it
could be because one of the last great untapped markets for golf
resorts is Iran.
Trump
is ready to snap back those snap-back sanctions after every 90-day
review and he is just
itching for the chance.
With such a system in place, how long is the JCPOA going to last,
realistically? 180 days? 270? Does anyone really seeing it holding up
for years? Our war against Iran is inevitable, so let’s get this
war moving, finally!
The Monroe
Doctrine set
the precedent that the US will not tolerate any interference in our
backyard – the Western Hemisphere. Now some of you weren’t there,
but I for one definitely recall the Bilderberg
Group Doctrine:
The US will not tolerate any interference in our backyard – the
Milky Way.
What
I do know for a fact is that the whole Russia thing has been blown
out of proportion by the Democrats – what was supposed to be a
diversion is now an obsession, but I’ll be damned if it’s going
to cost me Iran!
You
should see all the thong bikinis I’ve got warehoused! But how I can
overcharge the Pentagon for these “Freedom Fatigues for the Modern
Muslim Woman” and airlift them to Iranian Baluchistan while
Khamenei is still in power? I’m sure that Maddow will certainly
change her tune once we roll those out!
We
should have no problem vilifying Iran to the hipster doofus
crowd. “Liberating
women” worked
fine in Afghanistan and it’ll work in Iran.
More
resistant snowflakes need to learn Iran that proved its racism and
prejudice during the Hostage Crisis when Khomeini allowed the Blacks
and women to go free.
Iran
is clearly anti-White and misandrist! Especially for a country of
Sand Honkys run by male priests!
But
I think one of those two accusations will work with the snowflakes,
who are not noted for their intellectual rigor.
Let’s
cool it with Russia and laser-heat up Iran
What
gets me to sleep at night is that I am certain that cooler heads will
prevail and that nuclear war against Iran is around the corner. It’s
a thought which would comfort anybody in our great nation.
And
before I get hung up on charges of treason, let me state for the
record: Russia will be next, of course.
But
Rome wasn’t built in a day and they didn’t just take over Egypt
without first subduing Carthage. I think…I’m not really sure. My
fundamentalist Christian school education was a long time ago and,
frankly, these new war video games take up a lot of my time these
days. They really do simulate the real thing, according to what I’ve
read!
Do
you see how bored I am thanks to the lack of focus on Iran? And
almost none of you visit the Covert Iran War Wing of Langley anymore
– you think I don’t want to go lunch with you guys?
Well,
I don’t want to get addicted to video games and waste my life away
– that’s what my son is for, and we can’t have two in the
family.
Let’s
get real: Everyone knows our military is outclassed by Russian
technology. Heck, when’s the last time we even won a war?
And
because we can’t win anymore, breaking up countries is now our
thing. We can’t conquer, but we sure are great dividers!
But
here’s what those carried away by the Russophobia campaign forget:
We already divvied up the USSR! I can’t believe we are going back
to this well so soon! One day soon the bottom of that bucket is going
to drop out, and the hell to pay will be worse than China calling in
their loans.
Let’s
take on those fake Islamic Socialists in Iran, finally, as a tune-up.
Then we can go mop up Russia before the big showdown – China.
And
then after that: those aliens we don’t tell anyone about. Early
analysis of their culture reveals dangerously threatening levels of
socialist-type thought.
They
won’t be laughing at Trump’s “Milky Way Doctrine” once we go
public with that, I can assure you!
Yours
sincerely and Bilderberg Forever,
CIA
Sub-Deputy of Transnational Transitioning
Frederick
Q. Snooperwicz
*******
Reporter’s
note:
This
was indeed a surprising leaked email, on many levels. I can’t
reveal my source, of course, but I do sincerely hope that WikiLeaks
works overtime to confirm it as soon as possible.
However,
I can confirm that US Secretary of State John Kerry did accidentally
admit in Paris that he was trying to “implode Iran”. He says it
right here in
my 2013 Press TV report at
the 0:58 mark.
What
is amazing is how very quickly he corrected himself after that
momentary slip-up. He’s a real professional – you have to give
him that.
Even
though I caught his mistake, while other more “professional”
media organizations did not, my story was almost totally ignored back
then. I hope this leaked CIA email scoop affords a new opportunity
for people to realize what is the true agenda of the US towards Iran.
Frankly,
it took a lot of surfing to find a workable link to that report –
it has almost been scrubbed clean from the internet, as have years of
reports of mine for Press TV. Many leftist websites have reported the
same thing this year, most
recently the
superb news website the World
Socialist Web Site.
It seems like this would be a major story for us all to discuss but,
alas, we have been quite focused on Russia and, soon it seems, Iran.
Ramin
Mazaheri is
the chief correspondent in Paris for Press TV and has lived in France
since 2009. He has been a daily newspaper reporter in the US, and has
reported from Iran, Cuba, Egypt, Tunisia, South Korea and elsewhere.
His work has appeared in various journals, magazines and websites, as
well as on radio and television.
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