What
Collapse Feels Like, Part 2 of 5
Anger: When Rage And Cynicism
Aren’t Enough
By
Carolyn Baker
22
September, 2013
Editor’s
Note: This article is second in a series on “What Collapse Feels
Like”. Scroll down on this site for the first article in the series
‘Becoming
A Student of Fear’
Anyone
who doesn’t feel angry, make that enraged, about what
is being done to the earth community by its human inhabitants and
what they are doing to each other has been totally anesthetized by
the soporifics of civilization. If you aren’t angry, not only are
you not paying attention, as the bumper sticker adage goes, but you
really need to ask yourself what you have done with your anger to
cause your numbness.
Not
only is anger one of the sanest responses to our predicament, but we
need to find ways to express it that do not harm others. Impassioned
service in the world, blogging or other forms of writing, artistic
expression, or making an agreement with another trusted person to
vent in their presence while they witness the expulsion of anger are
all channels for externalizing anger energy and not simply, toxically
holding it in the body. We should not vent at people,
but certainly we can vent with them or witness their
venting with us.
The
more conscious we can become of our anger, the less harmful it is to
ourselves or others. The less conscious of it we are, the more it is
likely to become lethal to our own bodies and impede our
relationships. I believe that beneath all anger about our predicament
is deep grief, but that does not for one moment invalidate the
feeling of anger or our need to express it. What is also true is that
the relief we ultimately experience from feeling our anger and
expressing it over and over again has diminishing returns. Unless our
feeling and expressing anger takes us to deeper places within the
psyche, we end up spinning our wheels and cycling and recycling
through a redundant pathway in the nervous system that really is not
unlike spinning the wheels of a vehicle in an attempt to become
“un-stuck” from mud or snow.
Something
in the psyche—call it soul, spirit, the deeper Self, the sacred,
our core, something greater, inner wisdom, consciousness—whatever
we choose to name it, wants to take us into more profound places of
awareness. We share in common with other animals a nervous system
that needs to discharge anger from time to time, but what do our
fellow earthlings do after they discharge it? They return “home”
and focus on feeding the family, nurturing their young, or just lying
around in peaceful repose. Unlike humans who possess conscious
self-awareness, they do not need to make sense of their anger or
their predicament. They live only in the moment, and despite all
exhortations by spiritual teachers to do exactly that, it is not
possible for humans who live in a body to “be here now” every
second of their human experience. We need, not just want
or desire, to find meaning in our experience. In order to do that,
sometimes we need to consider the past and future. We are inherently
creatures who make meaning. Perhaps that is the fundamental
difference between ourselves and robots who merely receive and report
information.
And
before you argue that life is meaningless, consider the brilliant men
and women throughout human history who have demonstrated the opposite
through their art, music, drama, poetry, prose, and storytelling.
Yes, even our friend Friedrich Nietzsche, who is frequently quoted in
order to reinforce the notion that life is meaningless, said that,
“To live is to suffer; to survive is to find some meaning in the
suffering.”
So
why is the owning and naming of our anger not enough? And in fact,
how do we prevent our anger from having a deleterious effect on
ourselves, other humans, and the earth community? How do we avoid the
trap of so-called “righteous” anger in a mad, homicidal and
ecocidal world?
Every
emotion contains its own unique set of biochemical components that
impact the physiology. Anger releases adrenalin (epinephrine) and
also norepinephrine, and these are experienced in the body much like
an amphetamine. On the one hand, anger can feel energizing, but after
a huge surge of these chemicals, one may feel depressed or
lethargic.. When we consciously feel our anger or
vent it, we understand the chemical rush that it evokes, and in the
aftermath, we are able to take care of ourselves, rest, take a hot
bath, meditate, and overall “chill” for awhile. However, when we
aren’t conscious of our anger and its effects, we might feel the
surge of anger, then feel depressed afterward and use a chemical
stimulant or perhaps another angry outburst to elevate our mood once
again. This is precisely the dynamic that occurs in PTSD
(Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), and it explains how some soldiers
become “addicted” to war or some first responders become
“addicted” to the drama of emergency scenarios.
More
common is the harboring of resentment which from the Latin root
simply means to feel anger over and over again. It is a state of
chronic anger which we may or may not be aware of. It is very closely
connected with despair in that we may feel that holding onto
resentment is the last defense between ourselves and depression or
giving up.
Sometimes
when people read or hear my comments about holding the tension of
polar opposites, they do not understand what I am saying for a number
of reasons. First, very little in our culture supports this notion.
Industrial civilization blatantly demands a binary perception of
life. Things are either “this” or “that.” For example in
terms of the collapse of industrial civilization, one may believe
that “Either I have to be angry or resentful, or I’m a wus, a
clueless person in denial, or a sychophantic twit who doesn’t ‘get’
how bad things really are.” So when someone like me comes along and
says, “You can really acknowledge how hideously bad things are and
at the same time create beauty or walk a spiritual path or recite
poetry or immerse yourself in joy and play from time to time,” the
chronically angry or despairing person may immediately become more
angry at the suggestion (and at me) that there is something for
her/him to experience besides anger and despair. Often my comments
are erroneously labeled “New Age,” but if only the person making
this accusation understood what New Age actually means.
The
notion of holding the tension of polar opposites in one’s
consciousness is anything but New Age. The philosophy of life which
has come to be labeled New Age originated in the Transcendentalist
movements of the late-nineteenth century. Some of the purveyors of
this perspective were Mary Baker Eddy, Ernest Holmes, Emmanuel
Swedenborg, Alice Bailey, and others. To their credit, all of these
individuals departed dramatically from Judeo-Christian theology and
the notion of a vengeful God of judgment and eternal damnation.
However, they chose to embrace instead, a perspective of living only
in the “light.” One of the hallmarks of a truly New Age
perspective is the notion that goodness and “light” are true
realities, and evil and “darkness” are illusions. Thus an
authentically New Age person would deny the reality of the collapse
of industrial civilization and name the concept as “error” or
“negative thinking,” essentially denying its validity.
Additionally, a genuinely New Age perspective assumes that anger is a
“bad” emotion which one should not feel, but rather that “love
and harmony” should replace feeling angry. He or she would never,
ever assert that, for example, anger and joy or anger and compassion
can be held together in one’s consciousness—polar opposites
residing in one psyche and one body.
As
my friend the mythologist Michael Meade says, the most distressing
problem with the New Age is that it has disregarded ancient wisdom.
Not only did it reject Judeo-Christian theology, but it
overwhelmingly ignored the wisdom of indigenous, earth-based
spirituality which for thousands of years has realized the necessity
of acknowledging both the darkness and the light as equally real and
equally present in human consciousness.
Thus,
it is important to be cautious about how one uses the term, “New
Age” because if a particular person or group reverences ancient
wisdom and respects both darkness and light, then attribution of the
term “New Age” is not accurate. Why have I chosen to elaborate on
this point? Because often labels such as “New Age,” “air-fairy,”
“touchy-feely,” or other terms do not arise as a result of
reasoned investigation but often as a result of anger or resentment.
And this is yet another reason for addressing them.
Cynicism
is closely related to resentment. One definition of a cynic is: “a
person who believes that only selfishness motivates human actions and
who disbelieves in or minimizes selfless acts or disinterested points
of view.” In other words, compassion or selflessness do not exist.
Every human being is looking out for his/her own interests, period.
If one truly embraces this perspective, then one must admit to one’s
on narcissism, and for the most part, that makes living with oneself
quite challenging and meaningful relationships with other human
beings next to impossible.
In
ancient times, the cynics were a members of a Greek sect who
championed self-control above all other virtues and sought to free
themselves as much as possible from social control and the influence
of public opinion. The word cynic at its root was
related to the word dog, not only because of the cynic’s
sneering sarcasm, but because it was said that the cynic was like a
dog gnawing on the same bone incessantly until the bone had been
consumed.
When
I encounter cynical, resentful, angry people, I have to wonder where
they would be without their cynicism/resentment/anger. What exactly
is it doing for them? The fallacy they often cherish is that these
emotions will serve and protect them in the throes of collapse, and
there is a grain of truth in this assumption, but unless their
bone-gnawing proclivities are tempered with grief, joy, beauty,
gratitude, compassion, generosity, and humor, their survival is in
fact, untenable.
Not
surprisingly, some people react negatively to the notion of emotional
and spiritual preparation for collapse. Given the betrayal and
wounding many of us have suffered from religious or spiritual groups
or from mental health professionals, this response is natural.
Sometimes people have experienced such overwhelming, incomprehensible
levels of betrayal that their ability to trust anything that might
inspire or nurture their spirit is immediately scorned and the source
of these viciously attacked.
Some
individuals seem to have developed a fine-tuned combative radar
apparatus in anticipation of any mention of emotional or spiritual
preparation for collapse and are hyper-vigilantly predisposed to
attacking the entire notion as delusional. Others are so heartbroken
over humanity’s behavior which has brought us to this juncture in
history that they admit feeling caustic rage toward their own
species. I thoroughly appreciate how one might arrive at this level
of contempt for humanity. Yet once again, this perspective represents
one end of a polar opposite and does not reveal the entire spectrum
of humanity’s constitution.
To
detest all of humanity is obviously to detest oneself, and I do not
believe I am exaggerating when I state that this perspective is a
suicidal one. Moreover, it is a masochistic orientation to life in
which one has determined that one does not deserve one shred of joy,
beauty, peace, love, or well being because one is a member of that
despicable species called homo sapiens, and one should
only suffer as a result. With this dynamic, no amount of mea
culpas is enough, and there is probably no chain saw on
earth capable of cutting through this level of rage and despair.
Nevertheless, we can be certain that beneath it lie inconsolable
rivers of grief.
Many individuals who minimize or overtly deplore the notion of emotional and spiritual preparation for collapse do so for a variety of reasons, and anger is but one of those. If one is committed to ending one’s life, from my perspective that is tragic, but in the larger picture, who can know with certainty what is best for that individual even though I personally would not wish for their demise? What many collapse-aware individuals who do want to live have not yet come to understand is the degree to which their survival depends on feeling the feelings that the end of life as they have known it entails. As Jack Adam Weber states in his brilliant article “Radical Embrace: Breaking The Cycle Of An Unfertile Demise”:
This is not hippie talk; it is cutting edge survival strategy.
Resilience
in the face of collapse is a skill that must be developed, but it
cannot be if our anger occupies such an enormous space in the psyche
that the benefits of feeling, making sense of, and sharing our
feelings have no space to inhabit the psyche or body. What are those
benefits? Wisdom, discernment, compassion, letting go, clarity,
generosity, patience, loyalty, balance, and joy—to name only a few.
Questioning,
distrust, skepticism, and remaining uncertain about a particular idea
is a healthy, discerning response for refugees escaping the tyranny
of industrial civilization. Yet at the same time we distrust, we need
to inwardly explore the origins of our distrust—and what
it feels like. What emotions does the new idea
evoke? What incidents in our personal or family history may have
served to engender the distrust in relation to this idea? And most
importantly, what is the grief, underlying our
skepticism? Ultimately, what is the most useful investment of one’s
time and energy: attacking an idea and the person promoting it or
investigating what dynamics within one’s own psyche are operating
in reaction to the idea? Ah, but this, as Jack Weber names it is
“Occupying Oneself,” and that, as you may have discovered, is the
most formidable space on earth.
Anger
is useful only if it works for us. When it works
against us by keeping our minds and hearts sealed off from other
emotions, then not only is it not enough, but it becomes profoundly
toxic.
So
back to our friend Nietzsche again, who was way more touchy-feely
than we may have thought:
And we should consider every day lost on which we have not danced at least once. And we should call every truth false which was not accompanied by at least one laugh.
Andrew Harvey and Carolyn Baker 11.12.11 from Michael Brownlee on Vimeo.
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