Finding Meaning

The Pain of Transition and a Life of Meaning

Christopher Weller

The Refreshment Center,

25 September, 2012

“At this point of his effort man stands face to face with the irrational. He feels within him his longing for happiness and for reason. The absurd is born of this confrontation between the human need and the unreasonable silence of the world.”

-Albert Camus; The Myth of Sisyphus

As the old culture dies, we deal with the constant struggle with pain. With one foot in the culture, and one foot out, we search for meaning. We must dredge on, one foot pressing ahead at a time, with an overwhelming burden of grief for what we have lost, and the dread of what is to come, as a great weight upon our shoulders, our minds, and our souls. The frightening, numbing thoughts that race through our minds, chill us to the bone. Yet, our minds remain gripped by the constant, perpetual torment of a drive, a “voice,” or a “call” to press on.

The absurdity of what we’ve uncovered in the world as this great transition unfolds, through each discovery, each moment of enlightenment, from one epiphany to the next, is only equaled by a need to answer this “call.” Through the acceptance of true existence, we realize that the “call” is driven by a need for a life of meaning.

The loss we experienced at the onset of this journey can only be equaled by the grief we felt. And, to survive through grief, as Elisabeth Kübler-Ross had theorized, the human mind must pass through various stages, like milestones, where each stage is the mind’s battle to come to grips with the reality of what has happened. It only seems absurd, because we have uncovered the lies, the betrayal, of this culture, and when we realize where it’s headed, along with how many live comfortably in its absurdity, seemingly quite content with the delusion, our minds absorb the full shock, the nearly unbearable weight of reality.

At each passing stage toward acceptance, the weight of the real world collapses upon us, and tumbles down, laying us down, leaving us to pick up the pieces of our lives once again, and hoisting the burden upon our shoulders. As it is clear, the act of pressing on becomes absurd as well. For if we can continue to live, day to day, carrying the knowledge of the pending doom of the world, we can pass through stages of grief, coming to accept what is happening to the world, why do we continue? It seems absurd, insane even, to continue on.

Maybe the answer to this question is that those as ourselves who inhabit the new culture, the Culture of Transition, those of the Great Remembering, have reached further stages in the mind’s reaction to the experience of death. We have experienced a death and rebirth that no others have. For we have faced it, and achieved acceptance, yet we faced the knowledge of the impending death of the world as we knew it. Mere acceptance of our own former self dying is not the entire experience for us.

This is because what allowed us to achieve our acceptance was experiencing the Great Remembering of what existence and meaning on this planet is supposed to be. We realize that it is our disconnect with the Earth, from each other, from all the life on the planet that has allowed for the dread to occur in the first place. The pain of carrying the burden of this knowledge over and over again, like Sisyphus and his great stone, is only a symptom of this disconnect. We are able to achieve a stage in dealing with the grief, where we know all that is necessary is to let go of the rock, and let it roll on down the mountain of pain, and pass us by. We have achieved a stage of dealing with the grief, where we have finally let go of the old world, and stepped into the new. We’ve climbed the mountain of pain and were able to reach the peak, and have looked over and seen the green valley of meaning below on the other side.

 

The dying dominant culture has taught us that our meaning is itself to dominate the world, and everything in it, consuming the planet, ourselves, and our souls as we go along. What happens to us is that this meaning we have known all our lives is itself turned on its head and it is abandoned altogether. Albert Camus’ absurdism philosophy can have no place in this understanding that has become new to us, but in truth is not new at all. It is a remembering of our true existence, what a life of meaning on this planet really entails.

As Camus claimed, life, with all of the irrationalities it consists of, is at its foundation absurd. Life and death in the dominant culture, of which every existentialist from Sartre to Kierkegaard had mused over and were a part, is by themselves irrational and absurd. And, as Camus pointed out, the only reason Descartes’ metaphysics could explain the proof of existence at all is the ability to think about it. For Descartes, it was God who allowed for the experience of life to be real, and good and evil were regulated by the Almighty, and thus, to him we do have an existence based on this “reality.” For Camus, the absurdity of existence is only controlled and determined by the human need for meaning. It is a life with meaning that lets us know that the entire life and death experience is real at all.

But, for us in the Transition Culture, these understandings of what meaning is, and the long-held belief of our place in this world, have been overturned. We have let go of the stone, turned it over and found the true meaning of human existence that had laid hidden from us by the culture of civilization. The connection, and oneness we’ve found we have with the world, is not absurd, and certainly not irrational. Happiness and sadness, “light” and “darkness,” life and death, the dualisms that Camus puzzled over in the culture of civilization, are not part of the absurd to us. They are redefined to their true meaning. The human condition is no longer just a path toward mortality. Happiness, sadness, life, and death are not fleeting, but are eternal.

Thus, I would postulate that this relinquishing of the burdens of the old culture is the final stage of dealing with the death of our old culture, and equally the death of our old selves, is what we have reached. However, for us to reach this final stage, we must pass through what I feel are stages reserved only for those of us in the Transition Culture. But, to understand this we must review the other stages of dealing with grief first. These being those put forward by Kübler-Ross, and even those in the Transition Movement to explain our personal transitions as the collapse of the old culture plays out.

Well known to us is the first stage of grief, which is that of denial. When we first began to awaken to the reality of the death of the dominant culture we were assimilated into from birth, we deny that it can even be happening. We clash with friends and loved ones as we attempt to spread the news to them, as we face their denial of the truth, reinforcing our own stance on denial. As with the model itself, we experience conscious and subconscious forms of the denial, but all the same, we naturally must either remain in this tortuous, self-destructive phase, or we realize its absurdity and progress to the second stage.

As we realize we can no longer deny the reality of the death of the culture of civilization, the frustration reaches a tipping point. We are driven by a sense of anger. It is a means of psychologically blinding the reality of the situation. It is a stage where we blame ourselves, our leaders, or anyone that we can refocus our pain of loss upon. This is the stage where we can easily be seduced by distraction agents that are abound, ready to harvest our anger for the world and unleash it upon false culprits in our midst, which is only a desperate means of attempting to keep the culture alive.

The forces of distraction in this culture are part of a grand version of our own need to bargain our way out of it, hence, the next stage of grief. We all had passed through some form of this stage, where we believe that if we just do this or that, if society just organizes in this or that way, we can keep things going, we can keep pushing the stone up the mountain of pain, and everything will be okay.

Yet, we realize that all we are doing is delaying the inevitable- very soon this culture will die, and much of life along with it if nothing is done, and there is nothing one can do about it. The mountain of pain is endless, as infinite as the delusion of “growth” that the culture is driven by, and no matter what efforts of easing the dredge up the mountain we formulate, the stone will become evermore unbearable, and will still come down upon us to crush our desires to remain as things are familiar to us.

The absurdity that Camus saw in the meaning of life becomes quite tempting at this point. We sink into the depression of believing that life, and the drive to continue becomes pointless, meaningless, and absurd. Depression sets in. Because of the dominant belief held by the dying culture, you take the same path Camus did, and realize that although your life has been pointless up to this point, and that dealing with the pain of grief is equally pointless, you reflect in your catharsis that at least up to that point you had what you believe was a life of meaning. But, it is only a life of meaning defined by the dominant culture that is now reaching self-destruction. You were only holding on to the emotional attachment you had for the old culture, and its way of living on this planet.

However, the beauty of the rebirth into the new culture began to suppress these emotional attachments. Although, like most people who have dealt with grief, the loss of one thing or another, you had reached a level of acceptance of the fate of the world. You, now as a person in the culture of transition, began to not see it as death at all, but being reborn. As with the pain of giving birth itself, the pain subsides and the beauty of the new understanding takes over. Pain, grief, and absurdity no longer have a place in existence.

This is because Camus’ struggle with the dualism of life and death, and the burdens they carry, were delusions of the dominant culture. You began to understand that life and death have a deeper meaning than a struggle, a burden, only ending with your mortality. These dualisms, created by the dominant culture- good and evil, life and death, and etc.- are delusions, and had been only a means of control, a means of imprisoning you, a great stone you had carried up the great mountain of pain for so long. You became connected, one with the world.

Through this connection you achieved a new stage that others never reach when dealing with grief. You have tapped into a love for this world, because connection and oneness with the world involves love for it. The old culture had put you at war with the world. Your rebirth had put you at peace with it. Therefore, the sixth stage is that of love- love for the future of the world, love for the creatures in it, love for the life of this planet, love for the connection you have to it.

Life now does have meaning. Reaching this stage of love has given you a reason to let go of the burden of the stone. But, to let go comes with a price. For there are only few around you, if any, who have achieved this stage. Most never awaken at all. Many, who have began to be awakened, do remain trapped in the various stages of grief, never to pass through them at all. Today, millions have awakened but become trapped in the stage of anger, because they allowed themselves to be distracted, seduced, manipulated, and redirected by distraction agents bent on herding groups of would-be transitioners in the direction that only attempts to delay the inevitable collapse. Most of the world remains still at odds with you.

Continuing on, pressing on through this societal banishment and seclusion breeds loneliness- a state of being which could easily pull you back into the stage of depression. Thus, you must be brave to let go of the old culture and be able to face the loneliness, the seclusion, the banishment, and so on. You must achieve a stage of “courage.” You must not be afraid anymore. This is because when you have passed through these stages of grief up to this point, you have been subconsciously dealing with an increasing level of fear. And the antidote to fear, even the fear of your societal seclusion and loneliness, is courage. You must have the courage to let go for you to completely reach the final stage of transition, to have a life of meaning.

 

This is because the “call” that will not shut off, ringing in your head, whispering to your soul, has been answered. It is the voice of Nature you have connected to. Love and courage has brought you to sense, feel, and experience the Spirit-Which-Moves-Through-All-Things, the very soul of Nature herself. You are at one with it now. An experience that no past existentialist could have fathomed. They too were trapped in the prison built by the culture of civilization. Camus, and other existentialists, couldn’t have heard the “call,” because their focus was on the burden of carrying the stone of absurdities up an endless mountain of pain, and the culture they were captive in couldn’t explain to them the true reason for the burden, the absurdity, or the pain at all. They could only view themselves as separate from Nature, not part of it- not one with it. How could they have even imagined any other form of existence other than one of endless misery, pain, and absurdity?

Now, the true world of meaning invites you into the green valley on the other side of the mountain of pain you have climbed for so long. Feed off of your love and courage, bury the pain and grief behind you. For you have no need to fear at all. There are others that await your arrival- ready to welcome you to the Great Remembering. You no longer need to be lonely. Pass over and live a life of meaning with others who have let go of the stone. Let it roll down the mountain of pain and crush the memory of the culture of civilization. No longer will it dominate your life. No longer will life, death, happiness, sadness, health, and sickness be absurd. No longer will they be a means to an end. No longer will your life be a meaningless, ever-bearing, ever painful, ever burdensome climb toward mortality. The pain was only a transition. You have achieved a life of meaning. You’ve become part of the eternal.

[from Ghost of Spartacus....]

{suggested reading music for this piece: Prokoviev’s Lieutenant Kije Suite- Romance}