Eleanor
Catton has a different opinion? Burn the witch!
Benne
Bennett
Morgan writes SATIRE:
Today
us proud, patriotic, only true New Zealanders woke to the news that
some stinky Mount Eden liberal has a different opinion from us.
Not
only does she see flaws in New Zealand, the best country in the
world, but we have reason to believe she may even read books. We
cannot confirm these disturbing reports, because we have never heard
of Eleanor Catton before.
Unconfirmed
reports suggest this book-reading, gay-sympathizing, Green-voting
climate change believer has actually criticized what is undoubtedly
the greatest freedom-fighting government in our history.
Us
true blue New Zealanders know the true story. Legends say in 2008 a
‘can do’ Kiwi bloke, struggling to feed his shareholders, rose up
against the tyranny and the bloodshed that was the communistic,
women-loving Labour government which had descended our country into
chaos over nine gruesome years.
That
Kiwi bloke was John Key. A simple banker only trying to feed his
growing family.
Eleanor
Catton has defied his leadership. Eleanor Catton is an outsider.
Eleanor Catton is a with.
I
encourage all fellow conservative New Zealanders to unite against the
unpatriotic liberal tide which is threatening our freedom, of which
Eleanor Catton is the leader.
All
those who are with me say ‘Aye’!
All
those who oppose say ‘I hate New Zealand’!
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