A request for help

A visit to the doctor - and a request

Seemorerocks

With my equine therapist, Seemoreocks (aka Biscuit)

Until recently I have had a very good (anthroposophical) doctor, William Crawford, who, to my great loss, has returned to his native Canada for a prolonged stay.

I now have a new MD, straight out of the Britsh NHS, (although also a self-proclaimed practitioner of yoga -  whatever that is supposed to mean).

In New Zealand we now have a 'lump--it-or leave' it system of registration with increasingly corporate medical practices and it is very difficult to register with another doctor if your own is incompetent, especially where I live.

Perhaps because I am a new patient she spent longer with me than is normal and so I did have a chance to explain myself to a greater extent than might normally be the case.

I realise that this is not at all normal - but then I've been pretty spoiled for some time now with my previous doctor.

I laid out the physical symptoms that were concerning me and, to her credit (as opposed to the  locum  I saw recently who didn't even know oedema in the ankle when he saw it!), she did actually do a palpation, even though the questions from my point-of-view were petty minimal.

I should have been put on my guard fairly early on when I naively decided to put on the table the revelation that I use coffee enemas. When she started to ask me how much coffee I drank the alarm bells went off. "You think I am getting a temporary high from the caffeine?! lol"

I put her right on that and also expressed my anger about the conventional wisdom about "somatic symptom disorder" which basically says that anything (such as disorders caused by environmental causes) that they can't disgnose with their very limited range of tests can be put down to mental illness (anxiety or depressive illness).

She appeared to have heard me. She asked me what I thought was going on and what I wanted.

To this I said that I thought the western model of medicine was not up to the task in case like my own and what I would like to see was an acknowledgement from western medical practitioners that basically they don't know what the f...k is going on, and beyond a confirmation that nothing "serious" was going on, I didn't have any expectations.

She then said: "you haven't asked me what I think?".  

Well? 

Basically, without ever once acknowledging any input from me, but coming from a faux "west meets east" perspective - despite my earlier deniunciation of "somatic symptom disorder" - was back onto "have you thought of the emotional and mental aspects of this?" and was inviting me to fill out a questionnaire that she hoped would persuade me that I am depressed.

I asked what the hell depression was (an inability to adapt to the world, or a 'chemical imbalance"?). She said: "this is a long conversation we could have 

(because I don't know wha-the-f...k it is either, but I was told about this in my training")

Yeah, I got it. 

It would ask "do you find it difficult to get up in the morning?" (yes, because I wake up feeling very physically ill every morning and need to rest), or "how do you feel about the world?" (yeah, really postively as you might expect with an awareness of possible NTHE - lol)  etc.  

Each of the questions would confirm depression while each criterion would have a host of other explanations.

It reminds me of "research" into the "dangerous effects" of raw milk. If someone who drinks raw milk contracts  campylobacter it is assumed that it is because of the milk, not the myriad of other causes.

Like everyone who knows anything about humanity and this planet I experience a huge amount of grief, but I am not in the grip of a depressive disorder that is making me imagine that I am unwell.

When I raised my aboslute conviction that this was caused by early exposure to toxic pesticides she opined that this had only short-term effects!!!  

I suppose, being a recent English import, no one had told her about all the victims of 245T (or those that did not succumb to cancer).  

I did not mention that my earlier practice consisted largely of such people, who were failed by the medical system.

Visting my previous doctor I used to come away feeling better than going in, if only because I had had a good chat with someone who was largely on the same page about the things that matter to me and was quite happy to go along a line of non-intervention.

I left the office of this doctor feeling the characteristic anger, resentment and offence that I invariably experience from any exposure to the 'system'. Add to that a feeling of having been patronised.

The medical system is no different from any other aspect of Empire.  It is there to follow a line of inquiry that leads straight to diagnoses that lead straight back to expensive and dangerous interventions that support Big Pharma (and suppress those interventions - such as vaccine therapy for melanoma) that are cheap and effective. 

I was back where I have always been with the medical system. 

Nowhere. 

And I'm in the same place - regarding it as being in denial about most modern illness and therefore often treating illness with interventions that are dangerous and often the causes of disease in their own right.

And arrogant to boot (and my mind turns immediately to medical kidnapping in the States).

With the great Doc,  outside Parliament, Wellington - October, 2014

A request for help

So I am back to my own resouces.

If I could I would perhaps have gone to consult with myself.  The next best thing is a practitioner of natural healing who advocates the SCENAR, which I have been using over the last little while and is the sole thing that seems have any positive effect. 

Unfortunately none of this comes cheaply -  (and I would like to pursue some other optiions, such as Chinese herbal medicine).

As I have said before, all my financial resources have exhausted themselves and we've been living off the redundancy my partner received when she was made redundant from the job she had worked at for many years.

Working at this blog really does take up most of my waking hours (apart from a weekly visit to my equine therapist),  and although I have been tempted by my declining health to throw in the towel, I'm not going to do that - because there is no alternative.

It is simply a moral imperative.

Nothing I do brings in a single brass razoo, so it is with some reluctance that I am putting my hand out  and requesting donations from those who are not in a similar predicament to me, and are capable of doing so.

The last time I did so I was waiting for email notification from Paypal which never came and assumed that no one had answered my plea. When I later checked I found that several people had made generous donations.

I acknowledged this belatedly (with apologies) and would again like to thank those who contributed.

Donations can be made in the usual way - through Paypal

PS.

I have been told that the "donate" link does not go to anything referencing my account and therefore it appears to have been wiped clean.

It worked fine a couple of months ago.

This seems to be a response from the Empire? But a ring to Paypal will tell. Am I the next Wikileaks?

This has not been straightforward from the start. Even setting up the 'donate' button was a nightmare.